5-Min-Crisis of Marvels
A downloadable game
Not A Hoax. Not A Dream.
You’ve just joined the world’s premier powerhouse team - Ultra Maim Corps.
Too bad everyone hates you.
Supervillains don’t fear you. Your teammates are either irritated by your lack of experience or outright acrimonious. Even the media considers you a superheroic flop.
You won't let that stop you.
Change is on the horizon. A cataclysmic saga arises and threatens everything. In a universe of marvelous powers and events- only the unstoppable joke hero can save the world!
Triumph As The Uncanny Outsider!
5-Min-Crisis of Marvels is a micro-micro lyric ttrpg for one lone player. Roleplay as an atypical hero in an early Modern Comics Age world documenting the adventure that changed your life.
- Quick Play: Each play cycle should last just 5 minutes.
- Replayable: Optional Variants and Sparks add to the fun.
- Supply Lite: Requires 6-sided dice and something to chronicle your comic book adventures. Time keeping device is optional.
Based on the original 5-min-e ttrpg by Emily O’Heir and with special thanks to her and Dan Qui Dam for encouraging derivatives.
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this is “miss gloop”, she’s a corporate hero for The Gloop Corporation, a company that makes glowing green ooze (for traps and self-defense purposes only, of course) and is also a C-tier streaming service for some reason.
miss gloop entered a reality TV show where the reward would be to become the next “miss gloop” (representative of the corporation). she entered because it would give her the opportunity to meet the previous miss gloop in person, since she was a major fangirl. the plan was to meet the previous miss gloop then reject her new job offer and give it to the runner-up. however, she was contractually prevented from doing this.
she won because of the ability to shoot corrosive beams from her eyes that put her above the other contestants and made her a semi competent hero. however she only really managed to prove herself when a cabal of supervillains escaped their dimensional prison… she worked closely with skull shot to round them up, but in the process skull shot became more and more infatuated with her. it even seemed at one point like they were drawing the villains to her on purpose so they could swoop in and “rescue” her.
fortunately she thought this was pretty awesome and nice since nobody on the team had really been nice to her before, and also she’d never had a girlfriend/boyfriend so she thought this was normal stuff to do if you have a crush on someone. together they found the Shard of Hope, an item that only resonates when you have a special bond with someone, and used it to seal the villains away again :)
since then they’ve been a close-knit if slightly deranged duo. theyre currently on their way to stop the war between a demoness and her ex-wife, caused by her ex-wife taking the hellhound in the divorce…
(ps this definitely took me more than 5 minutes to write because i was enjoying thinking about it hehe. oh the art was drawn by me)
What an exciting playthrough to read!
First, the art is so cute. You really want to root for Miss Gloop, and storywise I found what she went through actually...relatable? lol Wanting to meet your heroes, getting duped by the fine print of a contract, and of course I love the queerness of it all. I was totally glued to text wondering how it would all unfold.
No worries on it taking more than 5 minutes - the time WAS optional! We'll say you stuck to the 5 minutes in like...Jupiter time. lol
Hey Slug-fans, I'm the superheroine of your dreams - Sluggerina. All on account of my amazing powers to communicate with denizens of the deepest ocea- naw, that's a lie. I shoot slug slime at people.
Although, I wouldn't say no to dropping a whale on a supervillian or two.
I used to be on this team full of "winning personalities" cause I was disjointed from my own reality. I mean Ultra Maim Corps isn't all bad if you like big guns and women who can't walk on the heels of their feet. Tried it, not for me- my feet are too slick.
I guess fitting in didn't matter in the end because my teammate Blayde Belle ended up possessed by an evil entity named Paralyzer and killed everyone else on the team. How did I survive? Well it wasn't perseverance. I slipped out of there on my slug slime by mistake. The happiest accident my slick butt ever had!
I don't think Paralyzer was too happy about that because they ended up kidnapping my only friend in this grungy world - entomologist, Chuck LaRoach. Actually he does kind of get kidnapped like once a week so this wasn't too out of the ordinary - but Paralyzer was no villain du jour!
But I had ole-dark-and-deadly figured out. I had to save Chuck and I was gambling on a hunch- It couldn't have just been a lucky escape. My slime made me immune to the entity's powers! That's why it needed to get rid of me so badly. So I confronted that menace in Belle's body and shot one good glob of goo its way.
Really good news? I got the bad guy! With one hit! The bad news is Belle and Chuck were hit by my goo and sent...to who knows which dimension. And the powers-that-be blame ME for all the trouble Paralyzer caused! With no witnesses to back me up they exiled me from Earth! How's that for gratitude?!
Well the joke's on them, cause I joined up with a crew of interstellar freedom figh-- just kidding. I got sent to Mars and awakened an ancient evil Martian Deity -- NAMED PARALYZER!
So I kinda got to attend to that cause there's this whole civilization on Mars - yadda yadda. You know the drill. Later, Slug-fans!